I’ve talked about a lot of issues on this site. Many controversial issues. I’ve opined on politics, technology, and sports. I’ve talked about blogging and humor and my personal life. Today we go deeper. Today we look at something much more personal.
You see, everyday Americans (and even non-Americans) go about their daily lives. We talk about the weather. We brag about our cars. People in I.T., such as myself, complain about stupid users. We check out hot girls in sporty cars. We gripe about slow people in malls and in general, look out for personal interests as they pertain to life and the people around us.
But beneath all these superficial concerns, there is a disease that is destroying the fabric of society. It is not generally observable to the naked eye. No, it is behind the scenes and only the people directly involved often know about it.
It is abuse. It is mental abuse. It is sexual abuse. It is verbal abuse. It is emotional abuse.
A very close friend of mine from years ago recently reconnected after five years. During our conversation, she conveyed a very personal story about her marriage and the cycle that took her into divorce and her son into an essential fatherless life.
A vicious cycle develops in these cases. Alcoholism turns into drug abuse. Drug use turns into addiction. Addiction relinquishes control. Lack of control turns into anger. Anger becomes abuse.
It’s not enough that physical and emotional abuse directly affects the abused. It affects the children around the involved parties.
I am 28 years old. I look at my life today and with joy and dread, observe that I have become, in many ways, a clone of my father. I have taken on his personality type. I use many of the same methodologies. I approach life in much the same way. In an abusive relationship, the children retain (and eventually become) a clone of their environment. Unless this pattern is broken, the vicious circle begins again.
Of course, this applies to more than abuse as well, but I digress…
My friend observed, after five years, that I am an analytical thinker. I take each situation and examine the details under a microscope. I watch people and can quickly detect strengths, weaknesses and other things about their personalities. However, when she related this story, I became less of a thinker and more of a time bomb. My blood boiled and I vowed again, to myself, that I would never become like that man who is her ex.
The cycle must be broken. The pattern must be broken. We cannot go on like this.
